Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Vaginal breath mint anyone???

I'm sure its no secret that many of us women like receiving oral sex and often wish it lasted longer than it usually does but its also no secret that it leaves many of us with a feeling self consciousness. This I know for sure, women talk & we talk a lot.
Well with the introduction of LINGER, there is no need to be uncomfortable anymore.
Linger is a tiny tablet made with natural ingredients that is inserted into the vagina to create a clean peppermint taste for up to 2 hours.
Linger adds promise to remove any self doubt in women and allow for increase overall oral sex quality and length.

Hmmm well while this seems to be a nice product, i will have to decline, since i don't need it. My vagina already tastes like a cool crisp winter breeze. Not to mention smells like a batch of fresh clouds on a beautiful sunny day! Assuming clouds would smell heavenly!
Now i could list a number of my own reasons why i think this idea blows but instead will post some comments made by a number of people who i would love to give big hugs for sharing my thoughts!!

                        I hope you guys Enjoy these as much i did!!!!

This product seems redundant to me. Am I the only one who douches with Listerine? Oh and when are they coming out with the companion ball wipes?

This is such a stupid idea! However, if they could make it into a chocolate sundae flavor...
Now whenever I kiss my girlfriend with minty breath she is going to be wondering what my tongue has been up to.

WHO the fuck would WANT a 'vaginal candy'? That's just stupid! Just another product promoting the idea that vaginas are dirty and smelly. Fuck that noise.
(Vagina + sugar ) This is not going to end well.

"Removes any self-doubt" sounds a little too "let's promote extra vagina shame!" for me. I don't hear men plotting to dangle air fresheners off of *their* junk, so, yeah, there we have it. Also, my coworker just added: "You gotta wonder about the rejected flavors, right?" Causing us to brainstorm for the last several minutes on what said rejected flavors might be.    
Barbecue?  Cool ranch?  Buffalo chicken?  Pad Thai?  New car scent?
Peppermint Pussy!
Cranberry Coochie!
Blackberry Bush!
Cinnalingus!
Gingersnatch!
Sizzlin' Strawberry Slit!

Peppermint Patties or Peppermint Pussies, what a choice! Does it guarantee that my girlfriend will let me watch football in peace? If so, call me Mr. Fresh Breath.

Dear women: the natural state of your body is off-putting. Ergo, you do not deserve to have oral sex performed on you unless you make your cunt into a breath mint.

Are my vagina teeth not clean enough?

Maybe they could go in the other direction as well, and make vagina flavored mouth mints for those of us who can't get enough of the flavor....That was the first time I have ever had to specify that mints are intended for the mouth as opposed to another orifice.


I think the important thing to remember here is that there was not just one, but a SERIES of board meetings where people in suits sat around looking gloomy while trying to seriously come up with:

1) a new product concept where: "vaginal flavoring" was one of the viable contenders;

2) product research and testing was not only funded, but procedures and quantitative studies enacted, complete with surveys;

3) focus groups and test markets were researched, selected, tested, and thoroughly interviewed most likely with before, during and after images (the most frequently noted question being "will this turn my tongue green?" apparently no one bothered to ask the female participants of any concerns they may have had;

4) marketing and public relations were brought in to discuss the market value, cross-demographic appeal, and appropriate vehicles for communicating the benefits of the product, wherein "snarky blogs" surfaced as a POSITIVE idea.
Clearly, this company's stock is rising.



"Linger: allowing women to linger on thoughts of inadequacy and sexual shame longer" or "Don't worry straight ladies, you'll never have to give a blow job again because he'll be too busy and there's no way he'll shove that up his shaft!
These comments are brought to you as a result of mock marketing research done by the church of Scientology!!! Courtesy of  "Sex and the Windy City" at CHICAGO NOW.com
                       I couldn't have said it better!!     


If you don't find these comments funny and you actually support "team Linger".....YOU SUCK!                                                   
                                                                          Stiff Upper Lip xxx

7 comments:

  1. I am over her Rotf and dwl literally... Seriously someone sat down and thought of foolishness like that. Smh. Your blogs are always quite interesting

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  2. Hahaha yup believe it or not, a bunch of geniuses came up with this!! I've known abt it for a while and i still can't stop laughing.

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  3. never wanted any mints... it is like a fine wine... once you let it breath...
    it is all good from then on....

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  4. haha - seriously > 'Sugar and Vagina' . . .com'on The amount of ants that would be biting down there who needs a boyfren to go down!! U best believe 4m a guy has minty breath imma be wondering what his tongue has been up to > dwl!!

    This idea of Vaginal breath mints is just stupid!! - smh!!!

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  5. Hahahahahaha Kacia lol "ANTS" IKR!! SMH!!

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  6. CHRISTOPHER PERRY SAID...

    This is great... so now every time i smell something or taste something minty my cock will get hard...(senario, talking to a girl and she pops a tic tac in her mouth and rather than salivating like pavlovs dog, my pants will reveal a bulge, hey im game but she better understand she brought it on herself. LOL (women will be walking into crowded areas and spraying mint air freshener, just like pavlov ringing the bell, this will be hilarious... so instead of me asking someone for a mint or a piece of gum, i will just ask a girl if i can give her p_s_y a couple licks... :) women no need for mints, my rule has always been keep it CTH (clean tight and healthy) and you will get all the pleasure you want..... signed... WHITE RABBIT.

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